Outside my window...
It's a bright and shiny day! Cold, but bright and shiny!
I am thankful...
For a baby that is a good eater and a good sleeper!
I am thinking about...
Schedules... Getting on one, keeping up with one... I know, I know, the baby is only three weeks old and I am trying to think about schedules? Yes, well, I'm crazy that way!
Learning all the time...
So I had a great idea for this section and then it fell right out of my head! Even still, we are learning... Learning about the approaching "terrible two's" and how to not spoil 'said' toddler while also not neglecting her. Learning (and re-learning and re-learning) that no doctor in the world knows my body and how it works like I do. Learning (and trying to remember) that going with my instincts is generally the best way for me to do things.
From the kitchen...
Not much. The household got that amazing bug that's been going around and our poor Big Sister got the worst of it! One would think that would keep us eating at home more... Thankfully Big Sister didn't lose her appetite! But it really just made us want to eat junk food. We're getting back on track this week and hopefully working on planning a real menu! I've been begging for this for a while! I think (and keep pitching) that it will help us keep a better budget, eat healthier and not get bored of the same-old's where we just want to go out!
I am creating...
Well, I'm pretending to create a schedule and a menu, I'll keep you posted on that! Otherwise, I'm going to attempt to get creative and get back in my sewing room. I have been "pinned" on Pinterest! Okay, so it was my sister-in-law that pinned me, either way, I am out there in the wide world of pinners! Now I just need to get some sewing done and get my Etsy shop back up and running!
I am working on...
Not smashing my laptop and embroidery machine in frustration! Yes, I have anger issues... From what I hear "acceptance is the first step to recovery." Funny thing, I have been accepting this "issue" for years and I don't feel any closer to "recovery" for it! Basically I've been looking at really digging into my embroidery machine, seeing what it can do and learning how to use it. I have the basic program that came with it and also the digitizing software that Singer wants to charge a few hundred dollars for... Too bad the programs are crappy! I broke down and even looked at the instructions! Which are of course, not in print but a pdf with the program. I thought I had it figured out and then came to the discovery that the instructions show I should have "buttons" that don't exist in the program! A "good" digitizing program can cost around $500! Do I really think I will use it that much? Otherwise I am at the mercy of having to purchase embroidery designs! at anywhere from $2-$50 a pop, I am starting to wonder how "good" embroidery machines really are!
I am going...
To lose my mind if I can't get things done around the house and in my sewing room! I feel like every time I walk in the sewing room I get sucked in by the computer (and Pinterest...) and then I get frustrated with my sewing machine (see above) and then I walk out and don't come back for hours. Same goes with the housework... I like to clean things up before going to bed, and I go to bed earlier than the hubby, who likes to clean things up throughout the day but when no one is here. Blah! I know I shouldn't be so worried about it but I may not be the "tidiest" person I know, I do like things to be a bit picked up...
I am hoping...
That the new sleeping pattern of our newest addition keeps up! Yes, I'm going to say it (and risk jinxing myself) I HAVE ANOTHER GREAT SLEEPER!!! The last two days this kid has slept 5 hours through the night! Straight!!! Yeah, I know I'm supposed to wake her up every couple hours for feedings... You know what? If she's going to sleep at night, I'm going to let her! This kid hardly even cries! I'm telling you... I should be hoping that my kids don't turn into psychos at any moment because they are both just too good to be true! There, I said it...
I am reading...
Oh my... Reading? Sure, blogs, work orders, invoices, Facebook every couple days. I haven't even read emails in the last week! Well, not emails that aren't from my work account at least. I'm sure I'll get back to reading soon... Okay, so maybe the only reading I'll be doing for a while are toddler books, I'm alright with that for right now!
I am praying...
For things... Yup, I'm being incredibly selfish right now! I'm praying for my family to be healthy, for a good work lead to come through for the hubby. And of course for world peace!
I am hearing...
Mariah Carey... No wait, Sarah McLachlan, Angel... I have a lovely-voiced angel of a cousin that sang this song when our Nana passed away. It's a hard song to listen to when someone you love has passed away. I'm not sure how she managed to get through the song with such a lovely voice still in tact, if I had the best voice in the world I don't know I could get through this song without it breaking...
Around the house...
Chaos? No, not quite... Now that we have gotten over the fever parts of last week we are just trying to keep up with runny noses and piles of laundry. Big Sister is "learning" to pick up her own toys but only seems to do so when she's with mommy and daddy is not around. Oh, and getting sleep when we can! Don't get me wrong, we've got great sleepers here, but with a fever, cough and stuffy nose, no one sleeps well, so we are trying to keep everyone snuggley and rested to keep the yuckies at bay!
One of my favorite things...
That Big Sister loves bath time! Okay, so she loves water time... This one is a favorite and non-favorite all at the same time! The kid loves to be in the bath! Always has. Loves the water in general. The not-so-favorite part is that now she has taken to tantrums when bath time is over! Ce la vie! It is so much fun watching her play and seeing her imagination when she is in the tub with all her toys! Well, her bath toys...
A few plans for the rest of the week...
Appointments, one for mommy, a check up for my gestational diabetes that I didn't really have and one for Little Sister, with the cardiologist to check on that heart murmur... Oh, and back to the office a bit this week! What? I've only been out of the office for three weeks, what am I thinking? Well, I'm thinking that it gets me out of the house and ensures my dad/boss isn't messing up my desk! I'm not a control freak about much, don't slight me for this little need for control...
Random thought...
Breastfeeding... Yup, that has been my thought for the last two (plus) weeks. This is the part that you can skip if you don't want to read about my rant on hospitals, doctors/nurses, and the fact that I feel like a cow sometimes!
So here it is... I'm not sure how hospitals were ten or twenty years ago but from what my mom tells me... Thirty years ago (give or take) when you had a baby in the hospital, the nurses helped you take care of them! The nurses would bring in the baby for feedings but mostly the new mommy would get an hour-or-two, here-and-there for rest, to go to the bathroom, to take a shower, whatever! Well, that was not the case with my first daughter. After three days in the hospital (I was induced) I finally had my beautiful bundle! A bit dazed, I was transferred into my "shared" room that I would be responsible for my brand-new daughter in, with no help from hubby as he was not permitted to stay the night. Now, I've had a lot of experience with babies and kids but nothing prepared me for that night! I was exhausted! Visitors in and out all day, crappy food, a roommate with a crying newborn, doctors and nurses in and out every five minutes! And I was instructed that everywhere I go, baby must go, including the bathroom! Add to this that I am a larger person and the "normal" dressing gown, that is all the hospital fashion, does not fit me properly so I have to wear two, one forward facing and one as a robe, and as I try to change my new baby's diaper I am struggling to keep myself covered. Oh yeah! And with all the visitors and my crazy jumbled head I "forgot" to feed the baby for like, FIVE hours! No one was there to say "Hey, maybe your guests should leave for a minute so you can feed your baby so that your milk comes in..." Oh no! But the nurses (more specifically the lactation consultants) were quick to tell me what I was doing wrong and what was wrong with my boobs! Seriously??? Seriously... It was the worst night of my entire life! Generally this particular hospital likes to keep new mommies for two days after the baby is born. I was chomping at the bit to get out! They confused me with my roommate (who was having her third or fourth child) and asked if I was the woman that wanted to get released early... HELL'S YEAH! At least at home I wouldn't be the only one dealing with this, not to mention I would be in my own clothes! This particular hospital really wants you in their stuff... So they released me. Little did I know that hubby had scheduled more visitors, so he had to call them to re-direct them to our house. Don't get me wrong, I loved getting to see everyone and share my new baby with all the people I love, but in retrospect, I really nailed the coffin shut on that one! Again the feedings were not my "first" priority (I know, bad mommy!) but "they" kept telling me the kid will cry when she hungry! Oh she cried alright, all... Night... LONG! We finally found some formula to give her, which she promptly spit up, it was tears and bad feedings all night long. Every time I would tell a nurse/doctor/lactation consultant that I didn't think I was producing enough they would just tell me that my body will produce as much as the baby needs. I got a breast pump, I tried those stupid herbal remedies, NOTHING WORKED! All of my friends were telling me how when they pumped they would get gallons at a time! Okay, so maybe it was 6-8 ounces every couple hours... Or how their boobs always felt "full" or how they leaked all the time or how they hurt! Mine? Never felt any different! No "full" feeling, no leaking, they certainly never hurt! Who would have thought the girl with the big boobs would have this problem? In all my life I never hated the damn things more! Which says a lot, because I have never really "hated" my boobs!
In the end we switched between breast milk and formula for about six months. Mostly I was pumping because I am crazy and not only did I start working again (from home) the Monday after my daughter was born, at three months old I took on a second job! We finished off the year strictly with formula. She's a great eater, my older girl, but I feel like we got gypped...
Why is this on my mind? Well, after having my second daughter I have caught on to some mistakes... Getting caught off-guard by the scheduled C-section, as the doctors thought the baby was going to be larger than she was, I talked to the hubby about a different approach to this hospital stay. I knew I would be in the hospital for three days, it's standard practice with a C-section, but even with all the things we considered "unknown" there were things we could anticipate. I needed to have alone time to breast feed but I didn't want to be sitting in the hospital by myself the whole time. And I wanted to see my older girl too. We worked out limited visits and visits with my older girl, we just never planned that our new girl would be under nurses watch the first two days. In the end, it worked out for the "best". Although she was just over nine pounds, the new baby was having some problems with breathing and heart rate. Basically she was breathing too fast and not getting/converting enough oxygen. Then they found a heart murmur. I was able to go to the nursery as often as I wanted to visit and feed the baby but she was not released to my room. I was able to get good amounts of sleep between feedings (yes, two hours at a time seemed wonderful!) and the first night I didn't even have to share a room! It was the next night that my mind started twirling on thoughts about new babies and feedings. My new roommate, who delivered her baby via C-section and arrived in our room some time around nine or ten at night, had her baby in the room with her. From that point on. I mean, sure, doctors and nurses were in-and-out of the room helping and whatever, but the woman just had major surgery (as they kept referring to it) and couldn't even get out of bed yet and she was left there with her newborn. Now, she didn't speak English, so I don't know if this was her request, but I couldn't help but think what would I have done if I had my new baby in my room and still didn't even have feeling in my legs?
Feedings have gone much better this time around. Oh, those lovely lactation consultants still want to tell me every little thing I'm doing wrong, and when the baby lost a bit of weight I started to think I really was doing something wrong! I was ready to switch to formula and tell those bitches to F themselves! And then she gained a bit of weight back and I had to tell myself that maybe those bitches just don't know everything after all. Like tact or positive re-enforcement? But that's not my job to teach them. Sure, when the baby wakes up after only sleeping for an hour (at two in the morning) I want to roll over and ignore her. Or when I feel like I'm a dairy cow that this kid wants to drink from for hours at a time! But when she sleeps for three to four hours during the middle of the night I know that I am doing something right and that this stage will be over before I have enough time to enjoy the good parts. So I will take it all for what it is and know that I am doing the best I can.
Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....
We've all been a little sick last week, with Big Sister getting the worst of it... The other morning I brought her into our room for a couple hours and it might have been the best she slept all week!
Feeling better, so for a treat mommy busted out the Play-doh! First time for Big Sister playing with the stuff, after an hour she still wasn't done!
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| Yes, that's a pumpkin bib, she asked to wear it! And no, those aren't bruises, she had spaghetti for dinner... |
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| Told you she's a good sleeper! |
