Best Advise I Ever Heard...

It wasn't advise I was being given, it was advise someone gave to another person, I just happened to hear it... I used to go to "meetings". You know, the Anonymous type? Don't get it twisted, I was a teenager that didn't drink or smoke or do drugs, but I was the black sheep. Honestly I still am. You may not remember but back in the 80's there was a commercial with a kid in his room and the dad walks in with the kids "stash" and the kid says "I learned it from YOU dad." Well, even as a kid I thought that commercial was crap. I decided early on I wasn't going to be a statistic. If we were being taught to resist peer-pressure I always knew that started at home. I remember being about eight and thinking "I never want to grow up to be like my parents."  And in many ways, I didn't...
But I did go to meetings.  I at first I liked the meetings.  I was 12 or 13 and I was so inspired by these people turning their lives around.  I didn't understand a lot back then.  I didn't fit in with the kids that went to Alateen... Those poor kids!  My parents weren't bad, they never hit us or "abused" us!  They just did what they did.  Best line I ever heard in a movie?  

"we're alcoholics. We're generally satisfied just to hurt ourselves." Where the Heart Is. No line in any movie ever said more. But I digress...

So, after the meetings a lot of people would go out for coffee or something and I remember one night after a meeting a lady had been talking about her problems with her daughter. You see, not every daughter is as enlightened as myself at such a young age! (evil grin) She was telling us that one night she was at the end of her rope, she had no idea what to do, so she called her sponsor. The sponsor told her to "Pick up your socks." I'm not sure what that lady thought about that response but even at 12 or 13 I thought it was GENIUS!

 At some point I started getting mad at that whole system though. I got really mad really fast. You see, "they" would tell me to blame the drugs, blame the alcohol for the things my parents or grandparents did... As if the drugs or alcohol got into them all on its own! As an individual we make decisions about what we want to do, who we want to be. I didn't want to be that person, I wasn't going to be a sheep. I own my crap. I have always pulled up my own socks. Things get hard, I pull up my socks. I hit a mental wall, I pull up my socks.

The best advise I can ever give you (even if you're not asking) is to PULL UP YOUR SOCKS.

And that's my thing.  It's why I'm a "black sheep".  You see, I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol to get away from my "problems".  Sure, I've never turned down a donut either!
(giggle)

But I do keep pulling up my socks...

Please Take A Minute...

On April 20, 2007 I began this email that I never finished or sent (back then I had no idea about blogging!):

What happened at Virginia Tech was a terrible tragedy. I don't agree with the publication of the video and photos that this murder created either. We are giving these psychos more ammunition by giving them their 15 minutes of fame!

So, who do we blame? Who is going to be punished for this horrible crime that has affected so many lives? Me? I blame myself, a little. I blame myself for every time I treated a stranger poorly just because I was in a bad mood. I blame myself for cutting off the old people that are not driving fast enough, and for cursing at the younger people for cutting me off. I blame myself for not saying "Hello. How are you?" enough. I blame myself for ignoring people that may have need my help, or even just my attention.

It's not ok to shoot people. It's not ok to make fun of people, nor is it ok to talk down to people, but at least that can be taken back. Do we punish the children that make fun of other kids in school? Do we punish the ignorant people that are racist or sexist because that is how they were raised? How do we stop these people from thinking that killing mean people is ok? I was made fun of when I was little. I was too fat, I was too blond, I was too dumb, I was too smart. Do I kill people? No. Do I want to? Maybe sometimes I would like to think about causing someone else physical pain, but I never really would. Do I mean to be mean? Not usually, but sometimes I am anyway.

So, what do we do? Don't tell me that we need to ban guns, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, "GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!!!!!" So, what do we do?

How many shootings have we had since then?  How many crazy events.  It's strange to think that 9/11 hadn't even happened yet.

And 7/20/12, another shooting.  Another random act of senseless violence.  I even saw one report assuring the readers that it was confirmed the shooter was not affiliated with any terrorist group.  Seriously?  He was a terrorist.  He shot up a theater full of unarmed people!

So, what do we do?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.  I'm going to hug my kids just a little bit more.  I am going to tell people I love them a bit more often.  I'm going to work hard not to cause extra nonsense.  I'm going to work on my patience.  I'm going to stay vigilant about keeping my guard up.  I am going to continue to be ridiculously aware of my surroundings.  I'm going to continue to keep those that were affected by this tragedy in my thoughts.  I'm going to change the channel when they put that terrorist on t.v.  I am not going to Google him.  I'm not going to wish him ill.  I am going to simply not give him his 15 seconds.

When you read this, please remember to not give people 15 seconds of fame for doing something so deplorable.  Instead, focus on the kid down the street that is staying in school and out of trouble.  Focus on the husband and wife that are still together light years past any Hollywood couple.  Focus on the parents that discipline their children with a strong voice and (maybe even sometimes) a firm hand.

I was not raised to take out my anger on others.  Does it happen?  Absolutely.  Do I regret it later.  Yes, I do.  But if I am mean to someone, say things I may not mean, at least I know I can go back later and say I'm sorry.  And that they are still around to forgive me.

Take a minute today.  A minute of silence for those that have lost their lives.  Whether a life was lost from natural causes or an untimely and tragic incident, there is always someone that mourns.  Take a minute to appreciate the little things.  Take a minute to acknowledge what someone else did to make the day better.