I No Longer Share My Birthday With The Funniest Man Alive

Firstly, I would like to thank the families of Don Knotts, Robin Williams and Edward Herman (along with all the other celebrities that I never knew shared my special day).  Thank you for sharing your father, your brother, your spouse.  Thank you for allowing them to touch the lives of others, and for the influence that they have had on my life specifically.
I was born July 21, 1977.  I have always loved my birthday and not just for the obvious reasons.  My birth month and year are 777.  I turned 21 on the 21st.  I was born the year the very first Star Wars movie was released.  And for as far back as I can remember, I have known that I shared my birthday with Don Knotts and Robin Williams (and later on with Edward Herman, and today I found out the total is 911 "celebrities" according to IMDB.com).  Knowing that I shared my birthday with the actors of such characters as The Incredible Mr. Limpet and Popeye, I have always loved the idea that I must be inherently funny because, why else would I have stayed so long past my expected arrival date?  FYI, I was born almost a month later than the doctors calculated!  I loved watching these funny men on t.v. and at the movies, I was connected, on some crazy level that only existed in my own mind.
I never got the chance to meet any of these amazing men before they passed on.  I always knew I would have a hard time when the day came that they were no longer with us.  I never expected to be hit so hard as August 11, 2014, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was like loosing a family member.  It was like my favorite uncle had died.
Robin Williams was "with" me my entire life.  I didn't just love the funny man, I loved the passionate and compassionate man that he was.  I loved every movie that I saw.  I loved that he was involved in other organizations.  I loved that he performed for our troops.  I loved when he was an alien, a teacher, a father, a sailor, a doctor, a genie.  He was with me through every milestone, every life event.
When I saw people posting on Facebook (seriously, I read it on freaking Facebook!) that Robin Williams took his own life, I was in total denial.  No, it wasn't possible.  Even today, it still is hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that he is not around.  We are so blessed that there is so much of him on film to never have him forgotten, but the strange hole in my heart, the pain that aches for his family, it breaks me down.
I'm not going to go on about depression.  It comes in so many different forms, you've heard it, you've read it, you may even have experienced it.  I know I do.  There are days that it has been a struggle to just keep breathing, to keep moving.  I remind myself how selfish I am, I tell myself that I am not as lost as I want to believe.  Through the years, whatever was happening, there was always Robin Williams.  My Grandfather loved him in "Good Morning Viet Nam", he inspired me in "Dead Poets Society", and in him, I saw so much of my own father in movies like "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "Hook".
I may never truly be able to describe what goes through my head, even when it comes to someone I admired so much as Robin Williams.  For my "our" birthday one year, my dad and step-mom took me to see The Lion King musical in San Francisco and we had dinner at Ruth Chris Steakhouse.  I kept telling the waiter that it was my birthday and that if Robin Williams showed up to send him over so I could wish him a happy birthday too.  I was 23.  There was never a birthday candle for me to blow out without giving a thought to some of the men that shared my special day.
So this year, my birthday is going to be rather sad.  No more Don Knotts, Edward Herman or Robin Williams to share another year with, even if it is only in my mind.  Every day I will continue to live, for myself, for my family, and for those men whose lives intersected with mine in such a random way.  To the families that carry on the memories of those great men, I thank you again, for giving so much and sharing them with the world.

Heidi

When the Glass is Half Full of Pink Glitter

I am actually quite tired of people complaining about how hard it is to raise a daughter in a world full of Disney princesses. Where companies strive for "equality" in silly things like toys and books, but still make them in pastels and glitter, because at the end of the day, that's what appeals to us girls. But at the end of the day, it really does appeal to some of us girls. I like pink. I like sparkly things. I like glitter and pastels and soft, fluffy, squishy animals! I like to use my imagination. I like to day dream. I like the possibility of being anything I want to be. And I am not a young girl, but those things have always appealed to me and I am actually quite thankful they still do.

We are a very "big" Disney family. We live close enough that we are able to drive to the Happiest Place on Earth at least twice a year and we are lucky enough to be able to budget and not bring home a car full of nonsense.  We actually do let the kids pick out one or two small items that earn by doing things around the house but other than that, we don't do big costumes or getting make-up done, the treat is getting to go. My kids have already been to Disneyland more times than most kids. It's our "thing". It's what we do. They know all the characters, they know all the rides (even the ones they are not tall enough for) and they can probably make their way around the park as well as I can at this point. You would think Disney would have lost some of its magic for them, but it hasn't. My kids still have the sparkle in their eye when we talk about all things Disney and they are just as excited for our next visit as they were for our last.

I have always been a fan of Disney's princesses as well as Barbie, and in all honesty, I have never fit the "perfect profile" so many associate with both. I love the idea of Barbie, that she can be anything she wants to be. I understand that people feel she sets a bad body image standard, but when I look at Barbie, I don't see a person, I see a doll, something to take my imagination, even as near 40 years old, to new places. I have about 2 dozen Barbie's that line my sewing room, because they are pretty and make me think pretty thoughts, they inspire me to be creative.  Barbie, for me, was more than just a fashion doll. I never looked at her in a way that made me think her shape was what I needed to look like. I don't even wear make-up and rarely do my hair. Barbie was never my idol, she was never my inspiration for my self image. She was a doll. When I was younger, Barbie went on missions with G.I. Joe. She ran a shop that I "created" using her dream house. She mostly was just a friend, she would "talk" and "hang out", and she just liked to be around. I wasn't growing up to be Barbie, Barbie was played with as an image of myself. Barbie strives to be ME.

As far as Disney's Princesses, many have truly wonderful qualities that I have used to remind my two girls (ages 3 and 5) what a princess really is. She does not have to be the fragile girl waiting to be saved, she can be smart and look past people's outer appearance, like Belle. She can be hard working and forgiving, like Cinderella. She can be confused and find who she is by believing in herself, like Mulan. Snow White teaches to be gentle and kind, she is the fairest because of her inner beauty. I really could go on-and-on, but obviously Disney has caught on to making more independent princesses with the additions of Merida and Elsa, who don't need to fall in love with a prince to find their happiness. My choice is to look past the gowns, hair and make-up and to focus on the inner qualities of the characters themselves. These stories were not created with the idea that we would all someday "meet Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset." The stories of the princesses, the fairy tales, are lessons about morals and human emotions, what we chose to take from those stories should be more than just the fluff that makes them pretty. I chose to find the princesses inspiring and to teach my girls proper manners and morals based on the best qualities of those princesses. What better example of bullying do you need than Cinderella's sisters? Cinderella does not act rudely towards her step-sisters or step-mother, she is kind and humble, even when it must have been very difficult.

Here's the thing, my parents didn't "teach" me to look at things in any particular way. Like so many others, we had rough patches, and I'm sure I could have taken those bad times and spun them into all kinds of nightmarish thoughts, but what would that get me at the end of the day? From a young age, I knew that in this world, your cup is either half full or half empty, and I was blessed to be optimistic. My glass isn't half full, it's half full of pink glitter!

There are some amazing companies out there that are trying to "re-train" society with the "girls can do what boys can do" theme, and that's great! I don't see as many companies returning the favor when it comes to boys, and that is a bit disheartening, but I'll do my own part to teach the boys in my life about the magic of a little pink glitter. The bottom line is, it's not about what my kids can do in comparison to other children, it's about finding their own inspiration, growing it, and running with it as fast and as far as they can. Perhaps my daughter is more into blue dirt than pink glitter, I'm cool with that, as long as her glass is always half full.

Be cool!