Sunday, October 16, 2011

10/16/2011 Daybook



Outside my window...
It is cool and breezy...  If only the door monsters that live in my house would leave the door and windows open!!!  I hate running the A/C when it is cooler outside than inside!  Plus I am probably just warmer than everyone else so I want to have cold air on me at all times!!!  Come on winter!!!

I am thankful...

For my hubby.  I don't say it enough, but I am.  Don't get me wrong, we've been together for seventeen years (married for nine) and we get on each other's nerves like nobodies business.  But he makes me laugh.  He's a great father.  And no matter what, he always tries.  What more can I ask for?

I am thinking about...
The time I get to spend with my hubby and Little girl!  And the little time I have left before the next one arrives!!!  Sometimes I feel a little guilty about having them so close together. I say it's because I feel like I am "short-changing" my Little girl from the one-on-one time that is so special, but I think it boils down to the fact that I love my one-on-one girl time and that will change when the next baby gets here.  I just have to remember to focus on the little moments that I want to keep up with my older girl.  Like rocking in our chair before she goes to bed.  I really want to keep that up as long as she'll let me!!!

Learning all the time...
I am learning that I am hot and tired and I am not getting as much done as I would like!  I've tired to fight it.  I've tired to simply "relax".  Now it is time to try that funny little thing called "compromise" and find some balance!  

From the kitchen...
What has come out of my kitchen lately?  We did have burgers this week!  Hubby makes the best bbq hamburgers!!!  We've been trying to get things a bit more cleared out in order to do a bit of shopping.  Mostly just throwing things together that we find.  Tonight however is half-off pizza night at the local Mountain Mike's.  Pepperoni it is was!

I am creating...
Oh that "not-much" bug is just hanging on for dear life!  I did manage to sew some patches on my nephews boy scout uniform and hemmed his pants.  My new-er machine came with a GREAT blind hemming foot that, after a bit of practice, will be one of my new favorites for those pesky blind hems!!!

I am working on...
Order.  Finding time to make sure all those "little" things that keep us happy and healthy get done while at the same time getting to spend time with my family.  I've been having Little help me "put things away" lately.  If she doesn't finish her food, I give her a bowl to put the left-overs in.  I let her "clean" her hands, face and tray (on her high chair) before I go in and do it.  When picking up toys at the end of the day I ask her to help put things in the toy bin.  I figure even if she only picks up two toys now, it gets her used to helping.  She even has a phonetic toy that came with all the letters of the alphabet (a bit like blocks) that she knows to pick up when she is done using it!  It's a little box that when you insert the letters it sings the name of the letter and the sound(s) the letter makes.  We keep it in a carry-case so that we can bring it places quickly and easily.  She keeps most of the letters in the case while she plays and puts them all back in when she's done!

I am going...
To take a three-hour test for gestational diabetes this week!  Apparently I am just borderline when it comes to this stuff.  I've already put it in my head that I will probably be doing four blood tests a day for the next two months after this test comes back but you really never know!  Again, I didn't have morning sickness, so if I can get through this with no shots of insulin like last time, I will be a happy camper!

I am hoping...
That winter comes quickly!  We need some cold nights to get business heated up again!

I am reading...
Blogs and how-to's...  My silly cousin introduced me to Pinterest...  Now I am hooked!

I am praying...
For a little more stability within our life.  Not asking for miracles mind you, just something that will make life a tad less stressful when it comes to finances.  Plus the normal stuff of keeping family and friends healthy and safe.  I have the most bizarre dreams when pregnant and I am so happy each day that my crazy dreams are only that!

I am hearing...
Hubby watching t.v. in the other room.  Clicking away at the keyboard.  Little is already sleeping, no noise there!

Around the house...
I'd like to say I cleaned the kitchen today!  I did clear the counters and put the dishes in the dishwasher.  I took out the trash.  Worked on some laundry.  But there is so much to get done!  The hardwood floors need some serious vacuuming!  The toilets could use a good scrubbing.  I'm pretty sure the cat box needs to be cleaned out.  But the garage is organized!  And the few (three) rooms that have carpet are all vacuumed and the hubby dusted the whole kitchen the other day so I'm going to look at the positives and know that it all will have to be done again soon.


One of my favorite things...
Hanging out with my Little!  Hubby has been working on a garage sale and picking up some side jobs this weekend so it has left me and Little to do the girl thing!  Yesterday we went out with my mom for a bit and hung out around the house.  Today I decided it would be a pajama day!  We don't ever do that here...  We lounged and had breakfast, listened to music and dance, and after lunch, had ourselves some nap time!  Mommy and Little both! We watched some Halloween cartoons and Hubby/Daddy brought home pizza for dinner, a Little favorite!  Played with some toys and then our rock-before-bed time!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Work.  Blood tests.  Hubby is finishing up with his work projects so Little will be going to work with Mommy this week!  Trying to get some housework and sewing done.  It's on "the list".

Random thought...
Why do people blame others when they should look at themselves?  So, I have a "scared-y" cat and a "mean" cat.  That is how we explain them, and it's what they are.  We the scared-y cat will actually let people (even kids) pet her if they can catch her laying on a chair or couch.  She'll tolerate it for a few minutes, then run away and hide.  The "mean" cat...  Oh, she's a piece of work!  She will make sure that she's right in the middle of things.  She'll even approach most people that come to the house.  Then, out of nowhere, she will hiss and swat at you!  She's not a biter, and mostly she doesn't "attack", she just wants everyone to know that she's in charge.  We are CONSTANTLY telling Little to just "Leave the cat alone."  So, my thing is, if you have a cat, or dog, that attacks other people, who do you blame?  Me?  I blame the owner.  My uncle had one of the nicest pit bulls you've ever met!  When my cousin was little, she could do ANYTHING to that dog and the dog would just sit there and take it!  It's all about the training and upbringing of the animal!  It's kinda like kids...  If you don't discipline your kid, they will grow up to be horrible.  So, it's up to the parents/owners to take action when a child or pet acts up!  I keep telling my husband that if we (meaning HE) would have used the spray bottle on the mean cat when she did things wrong she might be different.  As it is, every time I find that bottle to leave it handy, it disappears again!  Apparently the hubby thinks that within reach means "at the back of some random closet."
Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....
The last week or so I have been trying to make sure and get a few pics in of my crazy Little.  From sunglass-hippie-girl and night-time ice cream to a video of her new twirling craze, this kid is quite the handful!





Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Do you like yourself? How much do you weigh?

How much do you weigh?  No, seriously, you don't need to tell me...  But let's think about this for a minute...  How often do you weigh yourself?  How much do you think you weigh vs. how much do you actually weigh?  Are you "happy" with your weight, as if that is a real question!  So, here it is...  All my thoughts and current decisions about weight...
I am overweight.  According to the doctor (and my Wii fit) I am actually obese.  I come from a family of what I refer to as "bird people", small-boned women that are small of frame.  Heck, I'm even taller than a few of my uncles!  It is thanks to this that I have referred to myself as an "ogre" even before Shrek was cool!  Even at my smallest weight, I have always been larger than most (if not all) of the women in my family.  I thought I had accepted this and simply moved on from it.  I have recently decided that I have not in fact moved on from that acceptance.  Can anyone say for certain when or how things happen in life?  Maybe not exactly, but here is my story of weight acceptance and denial...
I was the first born grandchild and at birth I was almost 10 pounds and almost two feet long.  Dad loves to tell us (my brother was not much smaller) how the nurses had to cut holes in the bassinets for our heads and feet to stick through!  I was the chubby kid, brother was the lanky one.  By the time we were about five and six we were the same height and many people thought we were twins.  Then, I kept being the chubby one and little brother kept getting taller and lankier...  I remember my Nana making comments about me needing to stand up straighter and suck in my tummy.  The benefit?  I had great posture!  The downside, I have been conscious of being "heavy" for a very. long. time.
Now I will bore you with a story I have told over and over again...  I was about twelve, and mom brought home a gift from Nana for me.  I opened the little box and found a plastic set of Minnie Mouse stud earrings and matching necklace.  I WAS IN JR. HIGH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!  There was no way I was going to wear that!  I hated it!  Now, please remember, I was a fat twelve-year-old.  I wasn't spoiled, I was just an angry kid...  Mom said to me "Save them.  When you get to High School you can be whoever you want to be."  I did not save them.  Years later I wish I would have...
Jr High was spent trying to fit in and being fat.  I went to three different schools due to moving.  I just figured, "Look, you're going to be fat.  There's nothing you can do.  Get over it."  I made some great friends in Jr High that actually made me feel like my weight didn't matter.  I got over it.
Then a funny thing happened...  The summer before I started High School my body changed.  I wouldn't say I lost weight or that I got taller, but things seemed to move into the right directions.  I went from wearing a size 14 to a size 8!  (Disclaimer:  I have now nor ever in my life desired to be less than a size 8.  I have curves.  I like my curves.  The size of my dress/pants/clothes have never determined who I am in any way)
I really wished for that necklace and earrings about then...  I dressed funny because I could!  I wore pigtails and mis-matched my clothes!  I had fun!!!  
I liked me!
Sure, there were still people that let me know I was not the "perfect" weight.  I'm sure it didn't help that my closest friend was a size 2!  But I got my first training bra at eight years old.  I had a rack and I didn't mind flaunting it now and again.  OH!  And I had a waist!!!  No six-pack, that wasn't really in style back then.  I did lots of sit-ups every night and jeeze, I loved my flat stomach!!!  At seventeen I really liked who I was.  Maybe because of the weight, maybe I liked my weight because I liked me?  Who knows now...
Then there came the millions of reasons why I started gaining...  They tell you that you'll gain weight after High School is out.  They say if you're unhappy you will gain weight.  Well, I gained.  Only a little at first, isn't that always the way?  And then I got lazy.  That is what it boils down to in the end.  Sure, I was unhappy.  I had my moments of depression.  We could mix in a bit of anger and frustration, but at the end of the day, it all boils down to comfortable and lazy.
I did lose some weight when I got braces at 23.  Let me tell you, getting spacers put in is the best diet ever!  You don't even want to look at food your teeth hurt so bad!  I worked on my weight a bit, and lost a bit more.  I still had to have my wedding dress let out but I managed a solid 10/12!  And in the world of bridal, that's a 8/10!  Then life takes over again and lazy set back in.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I did not gain a pound.  In fact, when I went in to deliver I was five pounds down from when I got pregnant!  A week after she was born I was down thirty pounds!  Now, I know you are asking yourself how is that even possible, especially since my kid was almost 8 pounds, 5 ounces!  Well, gestational diabetes was a great motivator!  As I told the doctor and all the nurses that would give me crap every week that I didn't gain weight...  "You can't tell a fat girl to eat better and exerciser and then expect her to gain weight!"  Now we are entering the third trimester of pregnancy number 2 and although we are about a week away from finding out the diabetes news, I have not really gained any weight with this pregnancy either.  Although we did start eating better and a bit more walking.  Knowing I may get diabetes again, even just gestational, has really got me thinking about what is keeping the weight on.
So, here we are!  Not that I have any plans of losing weight any time soon.  Baby Smith #2 is not due until the beginning of next year!  But I'm making a plan.  I refuse to call it a New Years Resolution.  Those don't work for me and I'm not going to pretend they do.  It is going to be a promise to myself.  A promise to stop being lazy.  Just because I don't think I'm as funny as I used to be doesn't mean I don't like myself!  And if I like myself, I sure don't show it in the way I am presenting myself.  I still don't have to match.  I can wear pigtails if I want.  I don't have to be a size 8.  I just want to be a better me.  I have been referring to myself as the "girl that ate Heidi" for quite a few years now.  That's what it feels like to me.  I have no intentions of "dieting".  I don't think there is a soup or shake that will magically make me like myself.  I have every intention of changing my "diet".  Don't get it twisted, I plan to eat, and eat well!  I like eating...  I think food should freaking taste good!  I just think the food I make myself, the food I eat, is lazy food, and that needs to change.  I need to work on my posture.  Not because I need to pretend like I'm thinner than I am.  Nana always said if you stand up straight it sucks your stomach in!  Better posture is the best outward greeting that I like myself, and that others should like me, or at least know that I don't care if you like me cause I like me!  I need to work on my exercise.  Never forget Elle Woods "Exercise gives you endorphin's.  Endorphin's make you happy.  Happy people just don't shoot their husbands."
That's the haps folks...  My challenge for myself, my promise to myself...  It's not a plan to say "I'm going to lose 'x' amount of pounds in 'y' amount of time."  It's me saying "I want to like myself again."

Sunday, October 9, 2011

10/9/11 Daybook

Outside my window...

Dark, cool...  Fall is always strange in California!  Just had a week of cool weather and storms, now for a week of warmer temps!

I am thankful...

For the little things.  Still...  It's just about enjoying who we are and what we do!

I am thinking about...
John Lennon, my Grandpa Len...  My dad and my Grandma Betty...  Today would have been John Lennon's 71st birthday.  Mom and I watched a show about his life tonight.  It's so sad that he was taken so young.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Grandfather's death.  He was 81.  Although I am thankful that we were able to be with him on his final birthday, and was able to meet his youngest (at the time) great-grandchild, I am sad for my Grandma that she lost the man she spent just over 60 years with.

Learning all the time...
I really should know this one but...  If I want something done, it is best to do it myself...  And when the hubby says he's got a "project" around the house to do, I should make sure there is nothing in that particular part of the house that I need to take care of first.  Weekends are my time to do laundry...  The washer and drier are in the garage...  Hubby has decided to "organize" the garage...  The washer and drier have not been accessible for over a day!  Good thing I at least got the linens and half of my clothes done!  Too bad my Little is running out of clean clothes, and fast!

From the kitchen...
Oh we are so bad lately!  Still recovering from our illnesses we have been doing very little cooking!  Tonight we had pizza cause Mountain Mike's does 50% off pizza's on Sundays.  Mom did come over and bake some cookies, does that count?  Due to lack of motivation I have avoided cleaning the refrigerator...  This will be the first chore on my list, right after a load of laundry is started!

I am creating...
Cleaner spaces.  Although I did not get everything done that I would have liked this weekend I did manage to clean the toys in the living room!  Yeah me!

I am working on...
So much this week!  We would like to have a garage sale this weekend, so I will be busy going through all of our closets weeding out the clothes we just don't use!  Then on to cleaning up each room of the house.  I read this AMAZING blog post from my cousin about how she cleans house!  Yes, it is an older post (and I found it thanks to her wonderful sissy!) but it was enlightening all the same!  She is able to home school her three kids and still maintain order in the home, breaking down the chores during the week days!  See, I have always focused on Saturday and Sunday being the days for chores, probably because I have either worked or gone to school Monday through Friday.  But on further pondering of her lists, I have come to the conclusion that the reason I don't get as much done is because we make plans for the weekends, or I am tired from the week!  If I just got up an hour or so earlier in the day I could spread these things out over the week and get things done so I don't have to worry about wasting my weekend stressing over what is not getting done!  Thank you dear Sarah for your words of wisdom!!!

I am going...
To make a plan this week to do something with my brother's family and our parents.  My brother leaves for the Army after the first of the year.  I am very proud of him, and I will always support whatever decisions he makes in life but he has been my best friend for 33 years, and I will miss him.  A lot.

I am hoping...
For a little bit of order in our house.  A little cooperation from others.  And a bit of patience for when things don't go my way and people don't do what I want them to do!

I am reading...
Ah-ha!  I did read a bit this week!  I was blessed to be given a gift card for Barnes & Noble e-books for my NOOK!  Although I stock up every month on the free-be's they give away, I had not yet actually purchased a book!  I bought the entire collection of Oz books (15 stories, $2), Wicked (on special for $3), and Son of a Witch ($7.99).  I started reading Wizard of Oz again and will read all 15 of those stories before I re-read Wicked and move on to Son of a Witch.  Hopefully by the time I'm done I will have an extra few dollars to spend on the next book in the series.  Oh how I love those witches of Oz!!!

I am praying...
For families that have lost loved ones too soon, too quickly to say goodbye, and for the families that have lost loved ones and gotten to say all the goodbye's they need.  With the recent deaths in the media it is important to remember that no matter what we think of people, they had families that loved them.  Not everyone will be remembered throughout history like a famous person, but if we remember to pass on their love, they will be remembered by those that matter.

I am hearing...
Hubby working in the garage.  The t.v. in the other room.  What am I not hearing?  Coughing from my Little girl's room!  What a blessing that is!  We have been so lucky that other than a small stuffy nose, this is her first real cold.  It just breaks your heart when they are coughing and sniffling and there is very little you can do to make it stop!

Around the house...
Ah the cleaning...  Mommy seems to have taken a bit of a vacation from reality when it comes to house cleaning and although Daddy tries, things just don't get done in the same way...  So, a thorough house cleaning is in order.


One of my favorite things...
Cinnamon, apples, pumpkin pie.  Although Mother Nature likes to play games with us Californians when it comes to the weather, some of us still know it is Fall.  Thankfully there are candles and other things that can make you feel like you are in the full-on swing of Fall baking without ever turning on the oven!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Cleaning.  Sewing.  Reading.  Hubby has found some side-jobs to keep him busy and Little has a date with her Grandma and cousin.

Random thought...
Beta fish...  Dad needed someone to take care of the animals this weekend.  I don't mind taking care of the pets, I just hate having to go out there twice in one day!  First it was because he had a cat that needed two insulin shots a day.  Then, after that cat was gone, they fed the other cats twice a day!  As if that was necessary...  Now they have this dumb beta fish.  Apparently it needs to be fed twice a day...  No bueno!!!  Good thing little brother is sharing the responsibilities!!!

Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....
The last birthday we shared with my Grandpa Len and last years service in his honor.






Sunday, October 2, 2011

10/2-3 Daybook

Outside my window...

Dark, windy, a bit on the cooler side...  Could this mean Fall has started to show it's "colors"?  I can't wait for it to finally be Fall!!!  Actually, early Winter sounds even better!

I am thankful...

For a great and relaxing weekend with family.  Not that the hubby got the same weekend, as he was busy helping out with some gardening and painting!  Great for me though since I spent most of last week in bed sick.

I am thinking about...
What to do...  What to do...  Now that the sewing room is organized there are less excuses to get things tackled!

Learning all the time...
What did I learn this week?  That sometimes slowing down reminds us how much we were trying to zoom ahead!  A bit of a head cold is a great indicator that I try to make myself zoom along even though I am not heading for anything!

From the kitchen...
Very little in the last week.  I've been a bit hesitant to touch much food in case what ever I had was "catchy."  Hopefully this week will see us trying to do better!

I am creating...
Not much yet!  This week will hopefully find me creating projects that haven't seen the light of day in years!  I don't have to make a Halloween costume for Little this year, we ended up finding something on a great sale.  Maybe a few Halloween projects and then onto the Fall and Christmas projects!

I am working on...
Balance.  Maybe if I can keep my balance I can avoid another body melt-down like last week!

I am going...
No where in particular.  Only one appointment this week.  The rain is coming (off-and-on) so I think we are "going" to be staying in to enjoy the weather!

I am hoping...
For lots of cold weather, and soon!!!

I am reading...
Very little!  I did keep up on my blog reading last week but did very little of any other type of reading.  Mom just gave me a Barnes & Noble gift card so I am excited to make a purchase for my NOOK!!!  I've been wanting to buy the complete Oz collection and then some books by Gregory Maguire, he wrote the book Wicked.  There are now four books in his Wicked collection!!!  Perhaps Son of a Witch will be my next purchase?

I am praying...
For good health for myself and my family, it's quite a list...  For safe travels as my mom makes her treks to Redding and back and for my dad and his "gang" as they travel to visit my Grandma this month.  Just the general order of things...

I am hearing...
The t.v.  Not sure what in the world hubby and Little are watching!  Clicking keys on the keyboard.  Every once in a while my phone says "Message received" when I get an email or text message.

Around the house...
Laundry...  We were gone all weekend and there is quite the bit of laundry to do.  Dishes done before we left, THANKS MOM!  Still a bit of cleaning up around the house.  The garage is in a bit of chaos thanks to that pesky, self imploding shelving unit!  Got to get the energy (both for me and hubby) to get things cleaned up in the back yard before the rain hits!

One of my favorite things...
Little girl laughter!  Mommy and Little have gotten to spend a bit of time together lately, just by ourselves, and we have had some silly moments!  There is nothing better than those giggles.  No, nothing!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Mostly staying indoors and enjoying what little rain we will get!  One appointment this week for me.  Hanging out with some family this weekend.

Random thought...
Okay, so maybe not so random, but...  Do they really make cartoons for kids?  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  Some of these shows are just too funny to me but are they really for my kid?

Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....

Sam got to go in the hot tub with Daddy and Uncle R this weekend!  This little girl L.O.V.E.S. the water!!!