Wordless Wednesday 10/5/11

Wordless Wednesday posted to the wrong blog...
Click on the link to view my wordless Wednesday post.

10/2-3 Daybook

Outside my window...

Dark, windy, a bit on the cooler side...  Could this mean Fall has started to show it's "colors"?  I can't wait for it to finally be Fall!!!  Actually, early Winter sounds even better!

I am thankful...

For a great and relaxing weekend with family.  Not that the hubby got the same weekend, as he was busy helping out with some gardening and painting!  Great for me though since I spent most of last week in bed sick.

I am thinking about...
What to do...  What to do...  Now that the sewing room is organized there are less excuses to get things tackled!

Learning all the time...
What did I learn this week?  That sometimes slowing down reminds us how much we were trying to zoom ahead!  A bit of a head cold is a great indicator that I try to make myself zoom along even though I am not heading for anything!

From the kitchen...
Very little in the last week.  I've been a bit hesitant to touch much food in case what ever I had was "catchy."  Hopefully this week will see us trying to do better!

I am creating...
Not much yet!  This week will hopefully find me creating projects that haven't seen the light of day in years!  I don't have to make a Halloween costume for Little this year, we ended up finding something on a great sale.  Maybe a few Halloween projects and then onto the Fall and Christmas projects!

I am working on...
Balance.  Maybe if I can keep my balance I can avoid another body melt-down like last week!

I am going...
No where in particular.  Only one appointment this week.  The rain is coming (off-and-on) so I think we are "going" to be staying in to enjoy the weather!

I am hoping...
For lots of cold weather, and soon!!!

I am reading...
Very little!  I did keep up on my blog reading last week but did very little of any other type of reading.  Mom just gave me a Barnes & Noble gift card so I am excited to make a purchase for my NOOK!!!  I've been wanting to buy the complete Oz collection and then some books by Gregory Maguire, he wrote the book Wicked.  There are now four books in his Wicked collection!!!  Perhaps Son of a Witch will be my next purchase?

I am praying...
For good health for myself and my family, it's quite a list...  For safe travels as my mom makes her treks to Redding and back and for my dad and his "gang" as they travel to visit my Grandma this month.  Just the general order of things...

I am hearing...
The t.v.  Not sure what in the world hubby and Little are watching!  Clicking keys on the keyboard.  Every once in a while my phone says "Message received" when I get an email or text message.

Around the house...
Laundry...  We were gone all weekend and there is quite the bit of laundry to do.  Dishes done before we left, THANKS MOM!  Still a bit of cleaning up around the house.  The garage is in a bit of chaos thanks to that pesky, self imploding shelving unit!  Got to get the energy (both for me and hubby) to get things cleaned up in the back yard before the rain hits!

One of my favorite things...
Little girl laughter!  Mommy and Little have gotten to spend a bit of time together lately, just by ourselves, and we have had some silly moments!  There is nothing better than those giggles.  No, nothing!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Mostly staying indoors and enjoying what little rain we will get!  One appointment this week for me.  Hanging out with some family this weekend.

Random thought...
Okay, so maybe not so random, but...  Do they really make cartoons for kids?  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  Some of these shows are just too funny to me but are they really for my kid?

Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....

Sam got to go in the hot tub with Daddy and Uncle R this weekend!  This little girl L.O.V.E.S. the water!!!

9/25/11 Daybook

Outside my window...

It is dark, cool and breezy.  This is what Autumn should feel like!  Let's see how long it lasts...

I am thankful...

For family, even the in-laws!  I may be the first to tell you how crazy my own family is, but I am truly blessed when it not only comes to my in-laws being great people, but great friends.  Sometimes I wonder if my husband knows how lucky he is...

I am thinking about...
Sleep...  It's been a long weekend.  Maybe not any longer than any other weekend, I have just been awake a lot.  Didn't get many naps in and definitely did not get done as much as I would have liked.  Did get to spend lots of time with my little though, so it all worked out in the end.

Learning all the time...
Hmmm, what did I learn this week?  Brain is kinda fuzzy, so I guess I learned that bedtime is not just important for Little, but also for mommy!!!

From the kitchen...
Oh, our poor abused kitchen!!!  Mostly just messes coming from the kitchen, but very little else.  Hopefully we will do better next week!  We just got a bunch of yummy fruits and veggies, so we're very excited about dinners this week.  As long as the nights are cooler, otherwise it gets too hot in the house to want to do much cooking!  Hopefully we'll be doing some soups soon!

I am creating...
Ah, not much this week.  Still in the process of figuring out my sewing room.  We have decided to move things around a bit and pack up much of my unused yardage to make room for other things.  We've had to move the computer out of the living room since Little is too into things.  Computer ended up in the garage.  Now we are thinking unused fabric would be better stored in the garage and the computer will be given it's own "nook" in my sewing room!

I am working on...
A few things here and there.  Still trying to get the holiday panels cut out and begin sewing. First we have to get the sewing room tidied up.  We've been keeping up on our regular chores during the week though, so that feels a step in the right direction!

I am going...

Well, it sounds like we will be going to the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival in a few weeks!  That is something fun to look forward to!!!

I am hoping...

For either another hot week or for the winter to get here already!  And for my computer(s) to get fixed!  The nice thing about working for an HVAC company is the Fall and Spring for a little time off...  But the hardest thing can be the Fall and Spring when the Summer and Winter don't set you up for the slower seasons.

I am reading...

Not much lately.  Blogs, emails, patterns...  Kids books...  Haven't been allowing myself much time to sit back and read.  Maybe I will make that a New Years Resolution?

I am praying...

For things in general.  I am glad there are no emergencies to have to worry about.  I'm hoping a friend has a good first week back at work from her maternity leave and that my daughters Godfather finds some balance in his new career path. 

I am hearing...

The rap-tap of the keyboard.  Voices from the t.v. in the other room, could be the news.  And my husband snoring on the couch.  I love how he says he doesn't ever get any sleep!

Around the house...

Things...  Not a whole lot though.  Keeping things picked up after the Little and the cats.  The yard needs trimming.  The computer move should be a fun adventure.  Ah, and my car needs a bit of cleaning.  Thankfully I do not store every important item in it like I have done with other cars but it is getting a bit cluttered, more than I like, and could used a good cleaning inside and out!

One of my favorite things...

Belly laughs from my Little girl!  Hearing every new word or sound she is making!  Hanging out at home and getting things done.  Feeling this new baby moving and kicking.  Breathing and knowing things happen.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

Hmmm, I mentioned the computer and fabric swap.  Cleaning, check.  We've got a low-key week ahead of us!  No doctors appointments, no parties or plans.  Just good ole getting things done kind of a week.

Random thought...

Oh you random thoughts...  Not so many when I'm this ready for bed...  Maybe I will post a random-random thought during the week!  But for a good read...  Check out my breakup letter to Facebook!  It really is all in good fun!!!

Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....

Dear Facebook (a break-up letter)

Dear Facebook,
Let's just get straight to the point here, you have changed...  Honestly, you and I have had a great run!  For the last four to five years you have been there for so many fun events and exchanges!  You like so many of my favorite people!  You're a bit of a cyber-stocker when it comes to my personal information, but I knew going into the relationship how you were.  This isn't the first time you have changed though.  Over the last few years I have stood by you through those other changes.  I've allowed you to be in charge of showing me what you think I want to see and oh the games we have played together!  I was not as happy with the changes you made when it came to my security and privacy, but we were able to fix most of that.  I feel like you are moving on though and I am still getting used to the last set of changes you made.  I get it!  You are smarter than I am!  You see your future and it is bright and shiny!  But no matter how many times I've watched Star Wars and no matter how I try to hide my "geek-ness" I just don't see what you do.
You see Facebook, you and your inside friends, you have a direction you want to go in, and I just don't know if I want to take that trip with you.
Don't you worry, Myspace and I are done...  Yes, I still check-in with them once every few months, but that is only because I can't cancel my account since Comcast closed my email.  And Myspace is so desperate to keep me around they won't respond to my "CLOSE MY ACCOUNT" emails.  And no, I am not leaving you for Twitter.  If God had wanted me to "tweet" I would have been born with a beak!  Yes, Google+ has been sending me some seductive signs, but I'm not so sure I'm ready to jump into another cyber relationship so soon.
For now I just think we need a break.  I will still check in from time-to-time, you know how I adore my friends!  I just don't see us lasting much longer...  You have needs...  I have needs...  And I just don't see us finding that place to meet in the middle.
I know you understand, and I know you will move on and probably be better for it.  I just wanted to let you know that our end is drawing near.  You have been a good friend and I will always cherish the time we have spent together.
Good luck with your new adventures!
Always,
Facebook Member...

9/18 Daybook

Outside my window...

It's dark, the wind might have picked up a bit.  Experiencing the interesting Delta weather lately.  Not really a sign of Fall, but we know it's coming.  Many years we only get a few days of true Fall before cold Winter blows our way.  HA!  Not that our California Winters are that bad, but ask the locals and you'd think we lived in Alaska!!!

I am thankful...

For what I have.  Not that that is anything new...  I'm thankful for the roof over my head, the food on the table, the clothes on my back.  Always thankful for the "little" things that we need to get by with every day.

I am thinking about...
Hmmm...  So many things!  Even though Mother Nature tends to give us the short end of the stick when it comes to changes in the weather, we are still looking forward to the changes in the colors around us!  Sure, the trees have begun their (minimal) changes but you really notice the change in season when you visit the shops!  Perhaps this week we will get around to changing the decor in our own home to reflect our more interesting personalities!  Hubby does enjoy the natural tones of Fall in general, but it's our Halloween-a-tude that really gets us going!

Learning all the time...
What have I learned this week?  Well, sometimes computer viruses come out of NOWHERE!!!  My work computer took a dive at the end of last week.  Boy do I hate telling the boss/Dad when that happens!  First thing I get asked "What have you been surfing on the web?"  Really Dad?!?!  Do you honestly think I'm going to randomly search the web knowing that if I get a virus I have a lot of explaining to do!  I don't even search random sites at home!  Just the ones I know.  I'm very boring when it comes to internet searches...  Still didn't get it up and running, but were able to save important files by running in "safe" mode.

From the kitchen...
Not much...  Tonight mom came back into town and we had brown rice with chicken and spinach, yummy!  But mostly it is still so hot we try not to use the oven!  BBQ a few nights and lots of salads!

I am creating...
I am attempting to create!  Been cutting out a lot of panels this last week!  Dolls and books and aprons and things!  My sewing room has been taken over by the contents of a broken storage unit from the garage, so maybe I will get to some actual sewing next week!  The sewing room tends to become the "catch-all" for things that just need to find a new home.

I am working on...
Organization!  Isn't that what we all need a little more of?  If only I had more time, energy, money, it would all be so easy, right?  Sure it would!  Either way, that silly sewing room is the on-going working project of working projects!  I also did some laundry today!

I am going...
To work on that sewing room and get some sewing done!  Talked to mom tonight about doing a "homemade" Christmas this year.  Not only will it be good on the budget, it will keep me busy and slim down some of my excess fabric!  It's easier to do things like that when you have someone (kindly) reminding you what you wanted to do!  Also going to put together some recipes for baked goodies for the holidays.  It's been a few years since I've done some good baking at the holidays!  If I'm going to be in that "nesting" state around that time anyway, might as well put it to good use!  Going to raid my dear cousin's blog for lots of gluten-free recipes!  Got an Uncle out here in Cali that needs some holiday treats he can actually eat and enjoy!

I am hoping...
For some quality time with family this holiday season.  Although I have always been an avid supporter of all things Little Brother, I am finally getting it into my head that he will be leaving for new opportunities at the beginning of next year.  I have faith that he will do wonderful things no matter where he is, but he is my best friend, and although we have lived apart, I have never lived more than a few hours from him.  I have never lived where I couldn't just pick up the phone and call him multiple times a week, or even a day!  We have been together through thick and thin, and I will miss him very much.  And he will get very annoyed with all the random emails I plan to send him!!!

I am reading...
Instructions, for all these panels and patterns I need to put together.  Blogs and random Facebook postings.  Sometimes children's books to a very small child!  What I really love is when she reads to me.  Sure, she doesn't know the words, and whatever she is saying is barely understandable!  But she is SO funny when she acts out some of the books!!!

I am praying...
Just in general.  Nothing specific or "important."  We just watched Bruce Almighty (and then Evan Almighty) the other day on t.v.  It was on, and I just love Jim Carey.  It is so funny to me to watch that movie with the hubby and to know that I get it and he doesn't seem to.  Sure, he gets the jokes, and I know he understands the subtle innuendos with regards to God and religion...  But how many people out there watch movies like that and just don't "see the signs?"  Well, perhaps that is what I will add to my prayers, that more people see the signs that are right in front of them.  You don't have to believe what I believe, you can believe in any Higher Power you want.  But when you ask, They will always answer, you just need to be in the right frame of mind to listen! 

I am hearing...
The click-clack of the keyboard.  The fan of the air conditioner.  Hubby finishing up some dishes.  It's a quiet night in our house!

Around the house...
We had so many grand ideas about what to get done this weekend!  Toys have taken over the living room, laundry piling up, that silly storage unit in the garage that decided to self-destruct two weeks ago!  So, what got done?  Laundry, check!  Living room (slightly) de-cluttered, check!  Dishes done, check!  Well, it's a good dent in things...

One of my favorite things...
My Little...  She said "I love you" the other night!  Oh, and when asked what a cow says she responded "Mooo."  I know, we are a bit behind on our animal sounds.  I've got a kid that can say "Please, thank you, more and done," but barely knows her animals sounds!!!  We're working on it...  But she is still too much fun!  We (she and I) have a new(ish) nightly ritual now before bed that I rock her.  I'm grateful that at 18 months she has not decided she doesn't like a bedtime rocking.  It's just quite time for both of us.  And it is WONDERFUL!  Tonight she grabbed my face and pulled it towards her so that I would give her a kiss!  Yes, I'm goofy for her, but she is too much fun!!!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
More house cleaning!  And re-arranging...  I swear this kid grows a foot a week!  Every day shelves seem to get lower and lower!  A few broken nick-knacks have us moving things around yet again!  But it will all make room for our Fall decorations.  Also the clean-up of the overflowing items that lost their home in our storage container's self-destruction.  You would think we might consider just getting rid of those things we choose to store and not use on a daily basis!  But what if we need them someday???

Random thought...

What was I thinking about today?  I know there were a few random thoughts on my mind...  I need to start writing them down!  The steal trap that was once my mind is becoming a jumble!  Oh, don't you worry!  There are still vast amounts of useless knowledge stored away for a rainy day, or random trivia session...
A funny thing though...  We have a friend that was looking for ideas on a new computer/laptop and he posted on Facebook to get a general idea from friends "in the know."  Hubby's cousin piped in with "All Mac fans suffer from Stockholm Syndrome."  I really did LOL!  We don't have any Apple products.  I don't know why, I simply avoid them like the plague.  Lots of family have Apple products, and they seem to love them.  I like my PC...  It's been good to me for many years, not that I don't lust for that iPad2 my Aunt plays with!!!  But I'm good for now.

Here are picture thoughts I am sharing with you....

Our underwater camera getting its workout!

The trout Hubby catches but none of us eat!  Good thing for our friends!!!

Eyes closed is the newest thing!  She's taken to walking around the house like that!

Daddy trying to clean it up...  Little wanting to do her own thing!

I have never been a fan of Christmas...

Holidays have never been my "friend."  Don't get me wrong...  We have a HUGE family!  Both of my parents are the second to youngest in their families (Dad has four siblings, Mom has five) not to mention the fact that growing up my mom's parents were divorced and both remarried people that had their own children (add in four more Aunts and Uncles) plus spouses and children.  Of my biological family, I'm the oldest grandchild.  On my dad's side that's only by a few months, on mom's, there's almost a ten year age gap!  We moved around a lot when my parents were married but my grandparents stayed where they were, at least while I was younger.  We would have HUGE get-togethers for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I think I generally didn't like the holidays as much because we usually had to drive a ways and I would tend to get car-sick.  Dad's driving and too much sparkling cider!!!  In 2000 I lost my first grandparent, my mom's father.  I know it's rather funny to think about the story of Heidi and how it's about a relationship with her crusty old grandfather and the fact that my favorite person on earth was my Grandpa Bill, but sometimes that's just how life works.  After he died, I could have cared less about holidays at all.  Holidays are a lot of work!  You work to make money to buy food and gifts and nice furniture and special dishes all so people can get together and make a horrible mess!  Factor in that I lost two more grandparents around those "fabulous" winter holidays and didn't have my first child till a year-and-a-half ago, I was a pretty Grinchy girl.  I liked to tell people that I just emotionally shut down from Halloween till St. Patty's Day.  Sure, I would go through the motions, showing up with whatever I was asked to contribute, but I don't feel like my heart was ever in it.  Some things in life just are what they are.
Last year, for Sam's first Christmas, we went to Disneyland.  That was my idea start to finish.  I didn't just want to be "away" I wanted to be in the Happiest Freaking Place on Earth!  Was it happy?  I wouldn't go that far, we did have fun and I can admit, it wasn't any worse than anywhere else.  You have to remember, we are Disney Fanatics!!!  The lines were not as long as other people were complaining about.  The weather wasn't too bad until it started pouring down rain and the park blew a breaker and half the park had to be evacuated.  I had fun that day, but it wasn't "really" Christmas...  We agreed that while the experience was what we wanted and we did all have fun, we wouldn't do it again, not on Christmas Day.
So, what is this all about?  The other day I realized I might be looking forward to the holidays.  I kind of like the cold but I really love the smells!  Cinnamon and pine, hot soups and fresh breads.  I'm still not looking forward to the decorating (and subsequent clean-up) but I am looking forward to spending time with family, something that, even though I work with my brother and dad every day, we can just never get enough of.
I am not looking forward to the fact that the doctors have moved up my delivery date to the 2nd of January, that's just a little too close to Christmas for me, but at the end of the day, no matter how much we invest in our holiday season I will be looking forward to the little things.

Why do people die?

I'm thankful I don't have to answer that question to my own child yet.  But someday...  What will I say?
We have come upon the anniversary of the death of a friend of my father's (I'm not going to address 9/11 in this post).  She wasn't very old, might have been in her early fifties.  She was married and took care of her grandson.  How hard it must have been to explain it all to him, I think he was around five.  How do we explain this to our kids?  To ourselves?  How do we "justify" why we should not be afraid of death?
My first experience?  Well, with a human death, my great-grandmother died when I was eight.  We were not brought to the funeral.  I can't say that I remember her well.  I know that we went to her house in Napa, CA for years for Easter.  I can remember certain things about the house, the yard.  I know what she looked like.  But somewhere along the years things get muddled and you have to wonder if what you're remembering is an actual memory or the memory of a photograph.  I remember my dad cried.  That I remember and there is no picture of that.
Oh, wait!  The things memories trigger...  My mother's grandmother died a few years before that.  I never met that great-grandmother, but my mom said she always sent pictures of us to her grandmother on the East Coast.  I remember my mom being very upset, crying on the phone.  But that experience didn't register for quite some time.  It took a while to figure out what had happened and who it was.  I felt sad for my mother, but I don't remember feeling much else.  Not sure if I was just a cold-hearted kid or simply because I had never met the woman.  Either way, I actually knew my dad's grandmother, and I knew when they left for the funeral where they were going.  I know I was sad.  I don't remember if or how it was explained to us kids.
Death, in my experience tends to be explained away with religious explanations.  This worked for us because we had gone to church and knew what God was (is) and in the grand scheme of things it just worked.  The puzzle pieces kind of slid together.
But what happens when you explain it to someone that doesn't know religion?  I have a nephew that (I think) may have been to church a few times, but really is not brought up much on a religion.  I think he was four when his great-grandfather died, and five when the family cat died.  I didn't know his great-grandfather, but the cat...  The cat had come into our family when I was in High School.  A drop-off at the local vet with no one to cover the bill after he was hit by a car.  He was brought home and lived with my dad for years.  The cat developed diabetes, and I learned to give him shots of insulin.  Not that I cared for the cat by myself, I simply helped out when needed.  Still, it's a different kind of relationship with an animal when you have to give him two shots of medicine a day that are injected under the skin.  In the end I asked to be there when he was put to sleep.  He was a good cat.  So then, to talk to my nephew about the cat, do I tell him Mr. Magoo went to heaven?  Does he know what heaven and God are?  He seemed to understand.
Obviously as we get older we have to deal with death more often.  Three of my biological grandparents have died in my lifetime, two step-grandparents.  My husband has lost two uncles, an aunt and a grandmother while we have been together.  My previous step-mom lost an uncle much too soon.  Pets have come and gone.  Friends have lost their lives too quickly.  And sadly even some babies have been lost before we were lucky enough to meet them.  So where do we go in our heads with all this?  I'd like to think I'm not afraid of death.  That is what I will continue to tell myself until I can't tell myself anything.  I don't want to be afraid of death.  Don't people say it's simply a part of life?
When I'm asked why people die, I will say that everyone is given a certain amount of time on Earth, and no one is given the same amount of time.  Every day that we live, we should live.  You don't have to live like you are going to die.  I know that is a common theme.  To live as if the next moment could be your last.  Sure it could.  But I have lived, for a time, expecting that I wouldn't live much longer, just dumb teenage stuff.  I don't want to live as if I don't have a tomorrow.  I want to live as if today is simply the best day to live.  To breath, to eat, to read, to play.  Sure, we'll throw some work and chores in for good measure!  I saw a movie once, I think it was called Dad, and there was a line that stuck with me.  The dad said "Dying isn't a sin.  Not living is."  I don't plan on looking forward to death, I know it's coming.  It's that one-way ticket you have in your pocket with an open-ended date of departure.  Of all the things I need to control in my life, I accept that death is not within my control, not mine or anyone else's.
So what now?  I will continue to live and send love to those that have to deal with death.  I will get up every morning and be thankful for each breath I take.  I will explain death, in my own way, when the time comes.
And I will live.